QAMARCMOCKCMOCK
06-12-2006, 06:10 PM
Healthy vs. Toxic Love
Healthy Love Unhealthy or Toxic Love
Development of self first. Obsession with relationship.
Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow. Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)
Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships. Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.
Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth. Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.
Appropriate Trust (i.e. trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.) Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply."
Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together. Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.
Embracing of each other's individuality. Trying to change other to own image.
Relationship deals with all aspects of reality. Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.
Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood. Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.
Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.) Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)
Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship. Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear & need for immediate gratification.
Ability to enjoy being alone. Unable to endure separation; clinging.
Cycle of comfort and contentment. Cycle of pain and despair.
Healthy Love Unhealthy or Toxic Love
Development of self first. Obsession with relationship.
Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow. Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)
Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships. Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.
Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth. Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.
Appropriate Trust (i.e. trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.) Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply."
Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together. Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.
Embracing of each other's individuality. Trying to change other to own image.
Relationship deals with all aspects of reality. Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.
Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood. Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.
Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.) Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)
Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship. Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear & need for immediate gratification.
Ability to enjoy being alone. Unable to endure separation; clinging.
Cycle of comfort and contentment. Cycle of pain and despair.