Marriage is a very important part of life for a Muslim. Islam encourages all people who are able to marry to do so. Marriage is dealt with in Islam very carefully since it involves the rights of two people. Divorce is allowed in Islam if the marriage doesn't work, however divorce is the most disliked of the permissible things. In the Quran Allah addresses humanity in the following glorious words:

	Al-Quran, Chapter 4 Na-Nisaa, Verse 1
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord Who created you from a single person created of like nature his mate and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women; reverence Allah through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights) and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): for Allah ever watches over you.

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	Al-Quran, Chapter 25 Al-Furqan, Verse 54
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful It is He Who has created man from water: then has He established relationships of lineage and marriage: for thy Lord has power over all things.

Lineage and marriage are interlinked, they cannot be separated. Blood relationships are given the highest of levels in Islam and it is forbidden to sever relations with those related to you through blood (i.e. father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncles, etc). However the relationship between a husband and a wife is not that of blood (i.e. they are not from the same parents), thus this relationship is one which can be broken and must be protected through rights and rules. Therefore Allah the Glorious addresses humanity in the Quran laying out the rules for the protection of both the husband and wife, the limits in marriage and its allowances.

	Al-Quran, Chapter 5 Al-Maida, Verse 5
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. Lawful unto you in marriage are not only chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost all spiritual good.

Muslim men are allowed to marry (apart from Muslim women) also Christian and Jewish women (women of the people of the book). Apart from these three faiths (Islam, Christianity, Judaism), women of all other religions are not permissible for Muslim men to marry. As far as women are concerned, they may only marry Muslim men. This is for the reason that Islam gives the leadership role of the house to the husband and the wives are to follow their decisions. Thus if the Muslim woman was to marry a non-Muslim man, she would easily be led into doing things against her religion.

In Islam each gender is assigned a role and status. This role or status does not represent inequality but it has merely been appointed for the smooth functioning of the family unit. Just like a country does not have two leaders, nor does a family. The husband has been assigned the primary duty of representing, protecting and providing for the family. This is a very large responsibility. The wife is the backbone of the family, she is the advisor to her husband, the guide to the children and upon her shoulders rests the most important responsibility of ensuring the family unit stays together. One very important point to note here is that these responsibilities are to be shared by the married couple. Neither the husband nor the wife must use their rights to oppress the other. Allah the Almighty describes marriage in the following metaphor in the Quran:
 

	Al-Quran, Chapter 2 Al-Baqara, Verse 187
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful ...They are your garments. And ye are their garments....

The husband and wife are the garments of one another. They protect each other from the outside world, they repair each other when torn, they clean each other when dirty, they make each other look beautiful - they are mutual partners who must take all measures necessary to make each other happy and secure.

A very big misconception held by many non-Muslims about Islam is that married women are supposed to clean and cook for the family. However this is not the case! The Prophet Mohammed used to sew his own clothes, he even used to cook for the family members, he used to work hard to provide for the family, govern the affairs of the Muslims and he also used to partake in all his household activities. He once said, "The greatest treasure on this Earth is a pious believing woman and the best amongst you is the one who is best to the members of his household." (Bukhari & Muslim) Islam teaches humanity to love respect and form a deep understanding with your spouse, and to always treat them well.

	Al-Quran, Chapter 25 Al-Furqan, Verse 74-75
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn" Those will be rewarded with the highest place (in Paradise) because of their patience. Therein they shall be met with greetings and the word of peace and respect.

This is the contract which is drawn up between the two parties wanting to get married. It is an Islamic requirement and cannot be bypassed. The contract contains the names of the people getting married, the names of the people who acted as witnesses on behalf of the two, the name of the wali of the woman and the name of the person who carried out the nikah ceremony. This contract also contains the signatures of all of the above people. The contract also mentions the amount of mahr (dowry given to the bride) and can also include any additional conditions which were set at the time of agreement. These conditions may include anything as long as it does not go directly against commandments in the Quran or Sunnah.

Sahih Al-Bukhari HadithHadith 3.882 Narrated byUqba bin Amir
Allah's Apostle said, "From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal for you to have sexual relations is the marriage contract which have the greatest right to be fulfilled."

Consent from the man to the marriage
Consent from the woman to the marriage
2 independent male witnesses from the side of the man (or 2 female witnesses in place of 1 man)
2 independent  male witnesses from the side of the woman (or 2 female witnesses in place of 1 man)
2 independent  male witnesses who will witness the marriage ceremony (or 2 female witnesses in place of 1 man)
The wali or guardian of the woman (incase it is her first time getting married)
An imam who will marry the two or a person who holds the legal jurisdiction to marry the two
The marriage contract
The mahr (it can be paid later if the woman agrees to it)

Stipulations in Marriage Contract

Hadith - Abu Dawud and AI-Hakim on the authority of Abi hurairah, Sahih Al- Jami AI-Sayhir, (No. 6714)
Regarding contracts the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: The rights are decided by the conditions.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book Al-Mughni
“If he married her on the condition that he should not make her move from her house or her city, then this condition is valid, because it was reported that the Prophet  said: ‘The most deserving of conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes permissible for you.’ If he married her on the condition that he will not marry another wife, then she has the right to leave him if he does take another wife.” In conclusion, then, the conditions of the marriage contract are divided into three types, one of which must be adhered to, which is of benefit to the wife, such as her being able to stipulate that he cannot make her move from her house or city, or travel with him, or take another wife. He has to adhere to these conditions, and if he does not, then she has the right to annul the marriage.” [Al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah, part 7, Kitaab al-Nikaah]

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked this question and he replied in Al-Fataawa al-Kubra:
“Question: a man married a woman and she stipulated that he should not take another wife or make her move from her house, and that she could stay with her mother, so he married her on this basis. Does he have to adhere to this, and if he goes against these conditions, does his wife have the right to annul the marriage or not?

Answer: yes, these conditions and similar ones are valid according to the madhhab of Imaam Ahmad and other scholars among the Sahaabah and Taabi’een, such as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, Shurayh al-Qaadi, al-Oozaa’i and Ishaaq. According to the madhhab of Maalik, the condition states that if he marries another wife, (the first wife) has the choice of what to do, and this is a valid condition. The woman has the right to leave him in this case. This is similar to the idea in the Madhhab of Imaam Ahmad. The basis for this is the hadeeth narrated by (al-Bukhaari and Muslim) in al-Saheehayn from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): ‘The most deserving of conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes permissible for you.’ ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: ‘Rights are in accordance with conditions.’ The Prophet  dictated that the conditions which make sexual intercourse permissible are more deserving of fulfillment than others. This is the ruling on conditions of this nature.” [al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 3, Kitaab al-Nikaah].

The noted scholar Ibn 'Uthaimeen has stated:

It is the right of the woman to make stipulations at the writing of the marriage contract as she wishes and if these stipulations do not contradict Islamic law then the husband must fulfill them. For example, that he not marry a second wife and that if he does to dissolve the first marriage. This is not a problem. However, a new prospective wife cannot stipulate that the first wife be divorced before he marries her. I must say however that a first wife should not make such a stipulation that her husband not marry a second wife. I fear that if a woman makes this stipulation that the husband will, if he desires to marry a second woman, simply divorce the first one straight away [i.e. not even give her consideration] and it would no be to her benefit. Therefore I advise the woman not to make such a stipulation because this may be a manner by which the husband is able to follow a good sunnah.

Some Marriage Conditions That Must Not Exist

Any condition which is in direct contradiction of a commandment of Allah cannot be asked for wether openly or secretly, some of these include:
Not to pray
Not to do hajj
Not to wear hijab
To drink alcohol and attend such parties
To have threesomes (in sexual terms)
To have anal sex

Apart from these there are many others, the above were only mentioned for the sake of examples.

Mahr

The Mahr is a gift given to the wife at the time of marriage by the husband. It can be something material, such as money, jewelry, clothes, etc. Or it can even be something non-material such as knowledge, education, poetry, etc. The mahr is the right of the woman and it is left to her to ask for what she wants. If the man wishes to marry her he has to fulfil her term of mahr and give it to her when they get married. The woman also holds the right to waive the mahr in part if she so wishes. It is recommended that the mahr must be asked according to the status of the man you wish to marry. If the man is rich the woman may ask for a large sum of money or jewelry or waive it in part if she wishes. If the man is poor it would be a better choice to ask for something non-material. However this decision is left entirely up to the woman and there is no sin or blame upon her with regards to what she asks. The mahr must be asked for even if in the smallest of sums.

	Al-Quran, Chapter 4 An-Nisaa, Verse4
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful And give to the women whom you marry their Mahr with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm as Allâh has made it lawful.

The Limit of What can be seen of the Woman Whom One Seeks to Marry
Sheikh Ibn Baz, May Allah have Mercy on him

Question: If a young man proposes marriage to a young lady is it obligatory that he sees her? Also, is it correct that the young lady uncover her head to show more of her beauty to her proposing fiance? Please benefit us and may Allaah benefit you.

Answer: There is no harm (in the man seeing her), however it is not obligatory. Rather, it is recommended that he sees her and she sees him, because the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) commanded the one who proposed marriage to look at the woman. This is because that is better for causing agreement and harmony between them. So if she uncovers her face for him, and her hands and her head, there is no harm in that according to the correct opinion. Some of the people of knowledge have said that it is sufficient for her to uncover the face and the two hands. However, the correct opinion is that there is no harm in him seeing her head, face, hands and feet, based upon the mentioned hadeeth (above). However, this is not permissible with him being alone with her. Rather, her father, or brother, or someone else must be with them. This is because the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, "A man must never be alone with a woman unless there is someone who is a Mahram with them." (Agreed upon in Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim.) He (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) also said, "A man must never be alone with a woman, for verily the Satan is their third." [At-Tirmithee and Ahmad]

Rights over one another

Forbidden Actions

The wife and the husband may not cause harm upon each other in any way, such as:
cursing each others family
Cursing at each other
Calling each other ugly or reviling each other
Verbally abusing each other even if for the tiniest of reasons
Physically abusing each other
Insulting each other because of family or for personal reasons
Blackmail emotionally with the threat of divorce
Revoke or transgress upon each others rights given by Allah
Expose each other to another woman or man
Avoid having sexual intercourse as a means of emotional blackmail

Exclusive rights for a wife include:
The husband may not take anything of his wife's property of wealth without her permission or consent
The husband may not have anal sexual intercourse with her
The Husband may not deprive her of food, shelter or clothing
The Husband may not stop his wife if she wishes to go to the mosque
The Husband may not stop his wife from visiting her parents

Exclusive rights for a husband include:
The wife may not disobey the husband as long as he does not command her against Islamic obligations or her rights
The wife must safeguard the household and property of her husband
The wife may not make friends with people he does not approve of.

	Al-Quran, Chapter 2 Al-Baqara, Verse 228
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful ...And they (women) have rights similar to those of their husbands over them to what is reasonable, but men have a degree of responsibility over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated Amr ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami 
The Prophet  said, "...Listen! You have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and clothing."

Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.189, Narrated Abu Juhaifa  
Salman told Abu Ad-Darda', "Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you." Abu Ad-Darda' came to the Prophet and narrated the whole story. The Prophet  said, "Salman has spoken the truth."

Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.501, Narrated Abu Huraira  
...The Prophet  said, "The best amongst you is the one who pays the rights of others generously."

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #276, Narrated Amr ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami 
Amr heard the Prophet  say in his farewell address on the eve of his Last Pilgrimage, after he had glorified and praised Allah, he cautioned his followers: 'Listen! Follow my advice in treating women gently. This is because they stay with you restricted. You have no right over anything belonging to them except that they do not do anything shameful. In that case you leave them alone on their beds and beat them lightly so that they do not feel the pain. Then if they obey you do not oppress them. Remember, you have some rights over your wives, and your wives have some rights over you. It is your right over them that they do not defile your bed with those you do not like, and do not let such people as you do not like enter your house. Remember they have a right over you that you treat them well in feeding and clothing them. ' [Tirmidhi]

Temporary Marriage (Mutaa)

Certain sects of Muslims have unfortunately taken up the practice of the pre-islamic Arabs known as temporary marriages. There was a tradition amongst the pagan Arabs of those times to marry for a week or two for convenience, either for sexual gratification or other objectives. In certain Hadith, Mutaa was mentioned as being allowed. The reason why it was mentioned as being allowed at those times is the same as the reason that alcohol was not forbidden at one time and the head scarf for the women was not compulsory at one time. Islam brought the Arabs of the middle east out of the days of ignorance one step at a time. So things were forbidden one by one, not all at once. However later on it was made clear by the Prophet Mohammed that the carrying out of Temporary marriages was now forbidden and all those people who were now Muslims must stop taking part in such activities.

Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 28, Number 28.18.41:
Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Abdullah and Hasan, the sons of Muhammad ibn Ali ibn Abi Talib from their father, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah  forbade temporary marriage with women and the flesh of domestic donkeys on the Day of Khaybar.

Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 28, Number 28.18.42
Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Urwa ibn az-Zubayr that Khawla ibn Hakim came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and said, ''Rabia ibn Umayya made a temporary marriage with a man and she is pregnant by him.'' Umar ibn al-Khattab went out in dismay dragging his cloak, saying, "This temporary marriage, had I come across it, I would have ordered stoning and done away with it! "

From the above Hadith it is crystal clear that temporary marriages are forbidden, and hold the same punishment as that of adultery.

Hadith - Muwatta 28.1
Yahya related to me from Malik from Muhammad ibn Yahya ibn Habban from al-Araj from Abu Hurayra  that the Messenger of Allah  said, "Do not ask for a woman in marriage when another Muslim has already done so."

Words from Sheikh al Albaani
may Allah have mercy on him

Words of Advice to the Husband and the Wife
by: Sheikh al Albaani

The husband and wife need to be compliant, cooperative and conciliatory toward one another, and to advise each other and urge each other toward obedience to Allah subhana wa ta'ala, following all of His ruling which have been clearly established in the Qur'an and the Sunnah. These must never be superseded by blind following of any religious or other figures, or any custom or school of thought which has predominated among the people. Allah aza wa jal says

	Al-Quran, Chapter 33 Al-Ahzab, Verse 33-36
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful "It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error. "

Each of them should fully carry out the duties and responsibilities with which Allah has obligated them toward the other...thus, the wife should not try to have all of the same rights as her husband, and the husband must never exploit the role of leadership and authority to which he has been assigned in the marriage relationship to oppress her, strike her or to be otherwise unfair to her.

Allah said:

	Al-Quran, Chapter 2 Al-Baqara, Verse 228
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful "And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree of advantage over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

Allah also said

	Al-Quran, Chapter 4 An-Nisaa, Verse 34
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill­conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great. "

Mu'awiya ibn Haida radi Allahu anhu said "O rasulullah, what rights do our wives have over us?" Prophet Mohammed said "That you should feed them as you feed yourselves, clothe them as you clothe yourselves, never invoke ugliness upon them, (referring to the custom of the Arabs when they are angry they say 'May Allah make your face ugly) never strike them in the face, and in boycotting the marital bed, do not go outside of the house to sleep. How (could you do any of these things) after you have entered into one another, so do only that which is allowed with regard to her (for valid reasons). [ahmed/sahih]

In another Hadith Prophet Mohammed said "The doers of justice will be on thrones of light at Allah's right Hand and both of Allah's hands are right hands- whose who were just in their ruling, with their families and in all that over which there were given authority." [Muslim]

When they both know and practice this, Allah subhana wa ta'ala grants them a good life and they will live for as long as they remain together- in the bliss of happiness. Allah said:

	Al-Quran, Chapter 14 Ibrahim, Verse 1
	In the Name of Allah, The Benevolent, The Merciful Alif Lam Ra. A Book which We have revealed unto thee in order that thou mightest lead mankind out of the depths of darkness into light by the leave of their Lord to the Way of Him Exalted in Power Worthy of all Praise!

 "Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions." [an nahl:97]

A Poor Pious Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who is Not Pious

Hadith - Bukhari 7.28, Narrated Sahl

A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah's Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them) "What do you say about this man?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should not be listened to." Allah's Apostle corrected the companions and said, "This poor man is better than so many of the first as filling the earth."

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a.

Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' [Tirmidhi, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah]

Prohibition on physically harming your spouse

Unfortunately there is a very large misconception held by many non-Muslims that a husband is allowed to beat his wife in Islam. However this is completely incorrect! There is a prohibition as to beating your wife, and the way the Quran states this is evident from the scenario in the following verse. In the verse we are told of a man whose wife is indulging in ill-conduct and being disloyal to him. Obviously this would make any husband very angry and he may even want to divorce his wife. However Islam discourages divorce and recommends it only as a last course of action. Below in red, along side the verses (in blue) is the scenario being described as it unfolds (to explain the verse better):

Chapter 4 An-Nisaa Verse 34
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more strength than the other and because they support them from their means.
(Men have been naturally endowed a stronger physical structure so it has been made their primary duty to provide for the family by going out into the world and seeking livelihood, this is a duty they cannot abandon for any reason)
Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them guard.
(Thus a wife is required to stay loyal to her partner and not commit adultery)
As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct warn them first
(Here we encounter the example of a wife who is being disloyal or indulging in ill-conduct, the first recommendation to try and get her to stop being disloyal is to talk to her about it, warning her and telling her about the great sin involved)
Next refuse to share their beds
(If the wife refuses to listen even after you talk to them then stop sleeping with them, Obviously if she does love her husband, she would be highly concerned at this point. However if she doesn't care for him or love him, she wont care and as a result this will only make the man angrier)
And last hit them lightly But if they return to obedience seek not against them means of annoyance: for Allah is Most High Great above you all.
(At this stage the man is Obviously extremely angry at his wife for being disloyal and doing ill-conduct and may revert to physical violence, so Islam puts a prohibition even in this mans state of extreme anger, this is best described by the words of the Prophet: Listen! Follow my advice in treating women gently. This is because they stay with you restricted. You have no right over anything belonging to them except that they do not do anything shameful. In that case you leave them alone on their beds and beat them lightly so that they do not feel the pain. Then if they obey you do not oppress them. Remember, you have some rights over your wives, and your wives have some rights over you. It is your right over them that they do not defile your bed, and do not let such people as you do not like enter your house. Remember they have a right over you that you treat them well in feeding and clothing them. (Ibn Majah, Tirmizi)

So even if the husband is enraged and his wife does not listen to him nor cares weather he sleeps with her or not, even then the maximum the man can do with regards to physical action it to hit his wife in such a way that it neither leaves marks on her nor does it cause any pain. This particular verse in the Quran is often misinterpreted by non-Muslims because it is actually addressing a human reality. Spousal abuse takes place in all parts of the world, weather it is Pakistan or Canada or America or Japan. God knows the nature of men to be physically violent when angry, that is why the maximum He has allowed, even in the worst anger fits, is for the man to beat his wife in such a way that she doesn't feel any pain. And beating someone without inflicting pain or physical injury is equivalent to not beating them at all.

More evidence of this is found in the story of a companion of the Prophet who once got very angry at his wife because she was being disloyal. So he broke the smallest twig from a tree and tapped his wife on the arm with it to show how displeased he was. The Prophet said, "Does not that man amongst you feel ashamed that he beats his wife in the early part of the day and the very same day sleeps with her having sexual intercourse? Is he not ashamed of himself?" (Tirmizi)

In another narration the Prophet Mohammed said, "Such people who beat their wives are not the best amongst you" (Abu Dawood).

Yet in another narration the Prophet Mohammed said, "I do not like it that I should see anyone with swollen veins of his neck, standing over his wife beating her."

The Prophet Mohammed delivered the message of God to humanity: The Quran. IF the Quran supported spousal abuse then why would the Prophet be denouncing it? The message is very clear in Islam, a husband may not inflict physical harm upon his wife in any way and the wife may also not physically harm him. Marriage is for mutual co-operation and co-existence, thus both spouses must show love, tolerance, understanding and care for one another. The Prophet Mohammed was known for his gentleness with all people including his wives, he said, "The best amongst you is the one who shows kindness and is gentle with the members of his household." Therefore it should be very clear that Islam does not support spousal abuse in any form.

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